Today I decided to read up on yoghurt. I bought some today in an attempt to be healthy. I much prefer ice cream to yoghurt and I bought it just hoping if I pretended hard enough that its just warm ice cream it may trick my stomach into not making me go get a McFlurry in a rage.
I learned a few things that I never knew such as it was introduced to Europe because the French king Francois I was bucketing out of both ends and needed something to make him feel better. I think that his doctors may have been early descendants of my mum as whenever someones feeling unwell my mums first go to is a yoghurt. One can only presume that if the yoghurt hadn’t have worked the king would have then been given some daytime TV to watch, a Lucozade and some eggs chopped up in a cup.
Apparently in Hindu worship, panchamrita is a dish considered worthy of the gods and is derived from yoghurt. The dish was presumably eaten by the gods, Shiva not sure which of his many arms to get the pleasure of peeling the lid off and all of the demi gods having a laugh at Ganesh for getting yohurt on his trunk, but he can lick it off much easier presumably by just putting his large elephant nose in his gob rather than get a napkin.
I also learned that I am part of a small percentage of men who are buying yoghurt. It’s mainly women buying yoghurt. I cant wait for the adverts to try selling yoghurt to men. The amped up sexuality and masculinity that will be applied to yoghurt:
‘This yoghurt is not for girls, it might as well have nails in it. throw out the instruction manual, not that you were going to read it anyway because you are a bloke! This Yoghurts got meat in it, thats right with each pot get one of your 5 animals killed a day. listen to this heavy metal music whilst we pour this yoghurt on a naked girl who would totally have sex with you if you ate this yoghurt, we put the hurt in Yoghurt… by Muller a family company’