I write this post as I got into trouble again last night whilst filming my latest video. After last weeks recognition of my evolution as an artist. This week I was to consider how I am evolving as a comedian. What started out as a vlog contained to in my flat spontaneously became a road trip to haunted locations at midnight. We got pulled over by the police and I decided it was for the best to not risk being out any longer.
It is not the first time I have been in trouble whilst making comic work. I was stopped midway through this video too. Which I again decided to work into the final piece.
And I was also stopped by security in a library whilst dressed as a mime and was shushing people in there. This was unfortunately not filmed.
But it got me to thinking that I think that there is something in me that strives for danger. Being near the precipice and being creative. I think that one day when I am more successful I will create a lot of headaches for my publicist.
I think that that is what attracts me to clowning. That it is anarchic. I think it speaks to something deep within me. And I think as I learn more of the world around me and my understanding of myself and my place in it this anarchic edge will continue to grow. I have often mused as to how many comics actually find their own creations funny and laugh at them as I often do when editing. But now I ponder whether or not other comics find their output as exciting as I do. I feel like I have unlocked through clowning a side of myself which is unexplored and dangerous which I think artists should strive for.
(However I do intend on doing another experiment tomorrow, which I am hopeful about.)
So I was left on Thursday with no video recorded and not able to record a new one. Or at least felt unable to output a work to a standard I was happy with. I looked through an old hard drive as I do have a few videos that I have recorded in advance that have not yet been put out. These were all filmed before the lockdown however I feel my output should be informed by the lockdown to be properly effective at the moment.
On the hard drive not only did I find the old files but a fully edited video that I hadn’t published online. Result! But upon watching it I felt that it FELT old. In all stages of production it was 2 years old. In terms of content it was fine but I just did not feel like I could put it out. So I made the decision to re-edit the whole video from the ground up.
It was really nice to be able to see how far I’d come comedically and also in terms of my online output and style. It also made me think about how I feel that I am evolving as an artist and it is a constant slow march. I also think that it is good to allow yourself to evolve slowly but also to allow change that is informed by the real world and your relation to it. Which is something I would encourage all comics and artists to do.
I hope to never stop evolving as an artist and keep on striving to be better.