Stockport

I once went on holiday to Stockport. Me and my girlfriend at the time were living at my Mum’s. And looking back on it I think things were so desperate that the idea of a holiday 8 miles away was a treat.
A holiday would be difficult to sell in a travel agents. ‘ They have a Pyramid like Egypt, The Louvre and… Pyramid schemes’
I learnt that Stockport used to be a part of Cheshire but the Boundaries changed to Manchester. Which must have been a disapointment. A disapointment on the level of coming 4th at The Olympics. So close yet not even on the podium.
Although to be fair I’ve always thought that Bronze is a shit colour for a medal . Especially for a grand prize. I just imagine the organisers of the early events:
‘What precious metals do we have for our champions?’
‘1st place, Gold’
‘Ahh yes to metal of the ancient pharohs’
‘2nd place, Silver’
‘Yes pristeen and pure, the colour of principality and divine elegance’
‘3rd place, Bronze’
‘Yes not 1st, not runner up, we shall give them the colour of shiny diarhea, the kind you get after eating reduced chicken that you even at the time were unsure about’
Bronze as a metal im sure was fine for the Bronze age. It had very little comparison. It was a massive leap from the stone age. I can imagine a bronze tool being lauded like it was the latest Iphone.
‘Have you heard about Ogg?’
‘Got a bronze bowl’
‘fuck off!’