I’ve been trying to get a little fitter lately. I don’t mind exercising, it’s the dietary changes I don’t like. My love of chicken will constantly be the reason why I am a jiggly mountain. I know when I’m getting fatter because when I’ve got a shaved face the Peter Kay comparisons come in. Not because of my comedy style either. More because we both like garlic bread.
It used to be that my facial hair would stop these comparisons but now I’ve started getting compared to Sam from Game of Thrones. AKA The fat one from Game of Thrones, AKA Literally the only fat one on a show otherwise filled with beautiful specimens of humanity. AKA The only one who once winter comes in Westeros he will be fine as he has a layer of blubber and has the character arc of eventually evolving into a sperm whale.
So I have been going on some jogs, I always get a little bit nervous before a jog, I shower before the jog. I wear a jogging bottoms, and a sports T shirt which even though I feel very uncomfortable I feel like it’s the only time I feel like I’m wearing attire befitting of living in and being from Salford. If only it wasn’t for the constant fear of looking, hot, sweaty, smelly & a constant fear of falling over like a baby I might actually have some street cred.
But then eating fried chicken in the same attire would also achieve that same feeling of fitting in, all I would be missing is 4 kids, an ankle tag and a desire to kick in a bus stop. Achievable goals I’m sure we can all agree.